How Bad?
by Lowar
Summary: Miranda gets a surprise visit from a Turian with a daunting question. NOT a MirandaXGarrus fic. Pairing is Shakarian.


Hey there everybody, this is just a little oneshot that was loosely inspired by a comment made by my Shakarian-shipping girlfriend, known here as doesntknow. As it says in the description, this is NOT a MirandaXGarrus fic. I'd probably be shot by my aforementioned girlfriend if I did such a thing.

I do not own Mass Effect or any of its characters, just this plot bunny.

Now, on with the show and please remember to review on your way out. ^_^

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Miranda Lawson was just finishing her reports regarding their rather eventful visit to Omega when her door chime sounded.  
"Come in," she called, inwardly grateful for the unforeseen distraction. As much as she prided herself on being thorough in everything she did, even she could not deny that their recent missions had a certain element of excitement that made her reports seem a little… lacking.

Upon looking up from her desk, however, Miranda feared that her gratitude for this diversion from her routine wouldn't last very long.

"Mr. Vakarian," she said, surprise audible in her voice. "What can I do for you?"

"Actually, Ms. Lawson," he said, walking in, "I was hoping you could answer one or two questions for me."

She was instantly on guard, her eyes trying to read the Turian's intent. Shepard may implicitly trust her old teammate, but trust was one luxury Miranda Lawson simply did not allow herself, not without an extraordinary amount of thought and consideration. She hadn't known Garrus -or any Turian, for that matter- long enough to gauge the details of his body language with any confidence, and the finer points his facial expression would've been twice as hard to read even before the mercenaries on Omega had blown off a quarter of it, so the Cerberus operative was left with only the most oblique of observations: _'His stance is narrow,'_ she thought, _'he's on edge, uncomfortable with the situation; He hasn't looked around once, he's focused on the information he wants, information he believes I have.'_

Outwardly, she kept her face neutral as she quickly considered the situation. _'The Illusive Man _did _say that we'll need everyone focused on the mission if we want to survive,'_ she mused, _'and I suppose it won't hurt to at least find out what he wants.'_ Thus resolved, Miranda closed her data screen and gave the Turian her undivided attention. "Well, I'll answer what I can," she fixed him with a pointed look, "as long as it doesn't need to stay secret."

Garrus scoffed. "Relax, Lawson," he said, still not taking his eyes off of her, "I'm not looking for all of your boss's dirty little secrets. Not yet, anyway," he added, with what she felt must be a smirk.

She gave a thin smile in return. "Alright, but keep in mind that, except for the past few days, I've spent the last two years on a hidden Cerberus station, and Cerberus cells don't communicate with each other, only The Illusive Man. She shrugged "Fact is I wouldn't be surprised if the only person who's more out of touch with events of the last two years' than me is Shepard."

Garrus' face twitched, but Miranda could only tell that something she'd said affected him, not how or why. "That's fine: This isn't about galactic pop culture." He paused. She wasn't sure why, but Miranda got the impression that he almost glanced away before he continued. "It's about Shepard."

Miranda would never admit it, but that caught her completely off guard. Rather than debate with herself over Garrus' possible reasons, she decided to just go to the source. "Why ask me?" She leaned back in her chair, openly curious. "I'm sure the Commander knows much more about herself than I do and would be happy to answer any of your questions."

Garrus nodded once. "True, but Shepard doesn't have the answers I need." He narrowed his eyes a bit before elaborating. "Probably a good thing, considering she was, as I understand it…" He hesitated, and this time, really did glance away, before continuing "Dead, at the time."

"Oh." Miranda's practiced control kept her from looking away. "I see." _'He was a member of the old Normandy crew, and from what I've seen is one of Shepard's closest and most valued friends; It makes sense that he'd want to know what she, or rather her body, went through for the last two years,"_ she thought.

"_So why does it feel like he's hiding something?" _The thought came into her mind unbidden, but she knew it was right. He was being far too evasive for this to just be about a friend's traumatic recovery, even if it was practically a resurrection. Something else was going on, but she'd have to tread lightly if she wanted to find out what. For now, she would beat around the bush a little, since she was sure he expected her to. "Well, I can certainly answer a few questions, though I'm sure Jacob could as well and EDI can give you access to the Lazarus Project files; They're hardly classified to the crew, seeing as there wouldn't be much point in that."

Garrus' reply was blunt. "I thought as much. That's why I already approached each of them about this."

Miranda remained passive. "And?"

"And their answers weren't quite what I needed to know." Miranda made a gesture with her hand that Garrus recognized as a cue to elaborate and knew she wouldn't answer his questions until he satisfied her curiosity. He began to pace, his mandibles twitching once as he continued. "EDI's files were very informative, but ultimately led me to seek a less objective viewpoint. Jacob's answers were less objective, no question, but being head of security didn't exactly give him much free time to make note of what was happening in the labs." Returning to his original position and stance, he brought his gaze back to hers. "They said you would be the best person to ask."

'_Something I'm sure you figured out before seeking their help,'_ she thought, just managing to keep a half-smile off of her face. Miranda rather enjoyed the crew's reluctance to approach her since it meant she had more time for her work and any personal business that might come up, and with the Commander's easy-going, talkative nature, the crew had quickly taken to approaching her with most issues. _'Still,'_ she mused, _'that only makes me more curious what an old friend Shepard's could possibly want to know that's brought him to me.'_ "Very well, Mr. Vakarian," she said, deciding that she'd given the Turian enough of a runaround "What would you like to know?"

"How bad was it?" An instant reply, followed by almost nervous clarification "Her recovery, I mean." All this spoke volumes to Miranda Lawson's trained analytical mind. When added to the observations she had made in the conversation so far, a rather… Startling possibility occurred to her.

'_Ponder that later,"_ she thought, getting up from her desk and wordlessly motioning for Garrus to follow her to the chairs at the back of her room. He did so, but declined to take a seat when she offered, so Miranda sat down by herself on the lounge chair by the viewport, resting her elbows on her knees and lacing her fingers together in front of her. "It was bad." Her words were bleak without being detached. She knew they wouldn't bring any comfort, but the Turian hadn't come for comfort. "Over 250 breaks in the bone structure where it wasn't simply ground to powder; Dermal matter was utterly fried passing through Alchera's methane-ammonia atmosphere before being thoroughly frozen by the surface conditions, resulting in most of it being-"

"This was all in EDI's files," Garrus interrupted, mandibles barely moving. "I need to know more than what was in the autopsy."

"Fine, I'll skip the statistics," Miranda replied, not unkindly. "The simple truth is, even when we got what was left of her properly arranged, it took more than a slight stretch of the imagination to recognize that the remains had once been human. She was so completely and utterly destroyed that there wasn't even a smell; not of burned flesh, not of carbonized armor fibers, nothing." There was a lengthy pause following this, but Miranda stayed quiet. She reasoned that Garrus would end the discussion when he had what he felt he needed and, considering the subject at hand, she was inclined to let him decide what that was.

For his part, Garrus seemed to be carefully going over her words in his head. Finally, he broke the silence. "Was she ever aware of what was going on?"

"Only once. It was in the final stage, after we had fully restored her bone structure and her vital organs were functioning but before her circulatory system, respiratory system, and muscle mass were back up to par." She kept the tone of her words even and her pace steady, though it wasn't as easy as such things usually were for her; though she wasn't looking at him or anything in particular as she recounted the memory, she could feel the Turian's intense, unwavering gaze as he seemed to scrutinize everything she said. "Wilson, our traitorous Chief Medical Officer," she paused and glanced at Garrus, who nodded to show he knew what she was referring to, before she continued, "miscalculated the sedative levels. The medical scans started to show increased vitals and brain activity levels indicated that she was reacting to external stimuli: Shepard was waking up."

Miranda glanced at Garrus. She would have expected him to cut in with some jibe about skipping all the medical jargon and getting to the point, but the focused eyes that looked back at hers were no longer interested in their guarded, cautious conversation from before. These were eyes that promised complete and undivided attention to her every word.

Miranda felt a twinge of uneasiness at that look. She wasn't very used to trust, especially when it was so total and complete. Factor in that just a few scant minutes ago there had only been mild suspicion, reluctant unease and a touch of amusement between herself and the alien, (which, if she was being honest with herself, was also a factor; His being an alien, and a Turian at that, certainly didn't affect her opinion of him in any positive way. Not that she was a bigot, mind; she just wasn't naïve enough to believe that the First Contact War wasn't still fresh in the minds of many on both sides) and this sudden turnaround in his actions toward her wasn't something she had in any way expected. It left her a bit unsure of how to act in response.

'_I'll think about that later,'_ she thought, shrugging off her uneasiness with a blink. Returning her eyes to nothing, she continued. "She opened her eyes and looked around. The pain must have been excruciating, but when she saw me looking back, she actually reached out to me and tried to say something." Miranda's brow furrowed as something occurred to her. "Back then I just assumed she was trying to ask what was going on or where she was, something like that. Now that I've had a chance to observe her," Miranda said, looking back up at Garrus, "especially those moments when she's come across one of her old crewmates, like you, I wouldn't be surprised if she was actually asking if her crew had made it out alright."

Garrus gave what amounted to a half-hearted snort. "Yes, that would be just like her," he said, his expression slightly pained and his voice touched with regret and pain. Miranda realized that she must be getting better at reading him, although that was likely more due to the topic of their discussion than her skill, considerable though it may be.

She nodded in agreement at this comment. "She could barely make a sound, though. Her body simply wasn't ready to be conscious yet, and it was rapidly going into shock almost before she opened her eyes. We doubled the sedative levels and managed to get her back under before any of her systems suffered serious complications, but it was a narrow miss. After that, I was extra careful about monitoring her condition, and we didn't have any more surprises like that until Wilson sent the mechs on their rampage." She waited a moment before looking up at Garrus again to find him deep in thought over what he'd heard. Miranda gave him another moment before she asked "Was that all you needed to know?"

He didn't respond at first, but, after a few seconds, raised his gaze to hers and nodded. "Yes. Thank you, Miranda," he stretched out a taloned hand to her "This means a lot to me."

'_There's that possibility again,'_ she thought, surprised but still managing to stand and shake his hand without hesitation, _'although it seems more like a conclusion now.'_ "You're welcome, Garrus."

Garrus turned and headed for the exit, Miranda following him as far as her desk. "I'll let you get back to your work; I've taken up enough of your time," he said over his shoulder.

As she watched him leave, her mind was still on that possibility from earlier, and she decided that she just couldn't resist testing it. "Oh, and Garrus?" she called, causing him to stop on the threshold.

He looked back at her, confused at why she stopped him. "Yes?"

A small, not quite innocent smile was on her face as she said simply "Good luck."

His eyes widened slightly before quickly narrowing as his mandibles twitched once. "I'm sure I have no idea what you're talking about, Ms. Lawson," he deadpanned.

'_Yes, definitely a conclusion.'_ Her smile shifted into a smirk as she said "Whatever you say, Mr. Vakarian."

He held her gaze a moment longer before turning to walk back to the Main Battery, but Miranda thought she caught a hint of a smirk similar to her own before the door slid shut.

"Huh," she said aloud. "I never would have guessed." _'If all of Shepard's recruits are even half as well-mannered, this could be quite pleasant for a suicide mission. Well, enough of that,'_ she thought, settling back down at her desk. _'I've got to finish reading over this briefing on our next dossier mission. From what I've heard, the Purgatory prison ship isn't the sort of place one should enter uninformed.'_

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You know, I think I might do a version of this for the ShepardXTali shippers like me out there, though I don't think Tali would ask the Cerberus crew something like this, especially Miranda.

Anyway, did you like it? Did you hate it? Review and let me know! ^_^ (FYI Flames will be shot with the CAIN! :D )


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